Comparison is the thief
of JOY. Theodore Roosevelt
If you judge a fish by its ability to
climb a tree; it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. Albert
Einstein.
Oh how I know too well that comparison robs us of joy. It is said that we should avoid comparing our beginning to somebody
else's middle, or comparing our weaknesses to others strengths, which is all
too often what we do. We compare ourselves and then let ourselves be caught up into thinking that we are failures
because we can't do what everyone else does. This is especially true in church
settings and on the internet. Pinterest is especially known for its ability to
make people feel inadequate and for fueling the comparisons that cause us
grief, pain, and stress.
I remember an experience from when I first started blogging.
I was about a month into blogging and was starting to sprout wings. I had
written a post about our garden. The children and I had made some garden boxes
out of scrap wood. I was so excited to try this method for growing my
plants. In the past my garden was a
disaster. I did not always mark the rows
well enough to tell where things were supposed to be growing. I often found
myself digging up the growing plants thinking they were weeds until I noticed
they were growing in somewhat of a straight line, or stepping on a row of tiny
plants, I had such troubles with it all. With garden boxes I would be able to
see where the plants were supposed to be
growing along with having a pathway for my large clumsy feet. I was hopeful that
it would eliminate many of my biggest garden pains.
I began linking up
and sharing this post about my garden boxes.
I came to one of the homesteading blogs where I was going to link-up with other homesteaders, and then I saw
it......someone else had already linked up a post about how to make a garden
box. I looked at their picture and it was beautiful. They had made their boxes
out of redwood with beautiful brick pathway surrounding it. They had lovely
green plants growing in them. It looked just like the cover of a magazine. I
couldn't believe it.
I turned my head in
shame, how could I compete with this. I looked at my picture of my garden box,
all grey and worn out looking. It looked like the work of a child. I was so
frustrated. I had worked so hard. I sat
for a few moments with tears in my eyes contemplating what to do. I even
thought about quitting blogging all together. I can't keep up with these types
of people, maybe blogging was not for me. All of a sudden I found courage, I
stood and held my shoulders high, and said to myself, "This is stupid, why
am I comparing myself to these people that I do not even know, To let them ruin
something good like this blog, I won't let it. This is who I am, So what if my
garden box is not as beautiful as theirs, it is mine and I made it by myself!"
This was my blog, my experience, my
things. My blog, the one about being
resourceful and making it with what you have. I linked my blog post, proudly
placing my picture next to that beautiful garden box. If people wanted a comparison of garden
boxes, here it was. You can make them beautiful or simple and plain, either way
they get the job done.
I have since found
out a simple truth about some of the internet bloggers and Pintrest junkies
There was a blogger who posted in this way;
She began to wonder how peoples "internet likeness" matched up
with their true likeness. (I wish I could find her blog again to give her
credit, but this is what she said.)
"I call them
“virtual wives”. They may be a model wife online… but what if you came to
their house? Would they meet you on the door step outside? Do they keep
their blinds closed at all times so you can’t see the mess inside? Does their
husband feel as loved, respected and appreciated in real life as she seems to
portray on the web? Do all those crafts and projects make her
extra-industrious, or is she neglecting everything else that should have come
first?
Too often we compare ourselves to those "virtual
wives" It is an easy trap to fall
into. It seems to be too easy at times to join in and wallow in it. It is not
healthy, it truly can rob us of the Joy that can be found in being true to our
own self. Go and find your own joy, do not get caught up in the things that really do not matter in life, this is my prayer for each of you today.
life less hurried.
Hi there, I am visiting from Word Filled Wednesday. I loved your post! You are right it is so easy to get caught up in the comparison game. We have to hold tight to our Father's hand and not be moved by our insecurities. Thank you for this wonderful reminder.
ReplyDeleteI love this post! I have a blog and it's not as fancy as others, the pictures not as grand, the words not as measured and proper. But it is mine and the ideas I put up are all mine and will hopefully inspire, not discourage others. I, too, have scrap wood raised garden beds and I think they are beautiful. How often do people rave over cottage style with chippy furniture? I do not include myself in the group of overachievers because it causes anxiety, competition, and immodest behavior. Yes, it is immodest to post things trying to cause envy among others. Thank you for sending this reminder out to all of us.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this! My blog too is sweet & simple. I prefer to keep it that way because I find blogs with lots of links & button & gadgets rather....cluttered? & overwhelming. Just my opinion! I struggled with the comparing thing for about a day & realized I appreciate a fresh, straightforward, down to earth blog :)
ReplyDeleteHow true - you have really hit upon a truth. God doesn't compare us to others; He made us unique. I love using what I have on hand; it might not be the most gorgeous thing in the world but I made it myself. Thank you for sharing this at the HomeAcre Hop; I hope you'll join us again this Thursday.
ReplyDeleteKathi at Oak Hill Homestead
Wonderfully written - I truly hope we're all mostly like our virtual selves! I am delighted that you shared with Home and Garden Thursday,
ReplyDeleteKathy
We all need to be more focused on becoming the women God wants us to be, not on just looking like the women we want to be. Thanks for the reminder!
ReplyDelete